So while I'm rushing to take a shower, get dressed, take out my piercing, finding shoes that aren't flip-flops or sandals, changing shirts like 3 times. Do I eat now? No, no food in the house. Well maybe I can bring some granola...no, you had enough. Should I bring water? Yeah, I'm sure you can have water. Cell phone. Ipod? Eh, sure. Book? No you're watching kids for Christ's sake, no book. Ok, make-up, deofarant, brush the teeth. Coffee? No you just brushed your teeth. Belt, need a belt. Damn these shorts don't have belt loops...what the hell, how don't you have belt loops?! Aaahhh! God these kids are going to kill me. You're pretty much going to die. Don't worry about food or coffee b/c she'll fire you in like 5 min. What the hell were you thinking working with kids? You hate kids...well very strongly dislike them.
I was going crazy, worrying about something I was forgetting, of mostly how I'm going to die today, or worse how I'm going to be arrested. Will I be arrested for throwing a kid into a wall? Or telling them to play hide and seek and not really seeking? I mean is there a rule saying seekers MUST seek? Maybe I'll look into that.
Well I'm there, nervous as hell, trying to hold it together and forcefully be nice to the kids.
I met my co-counselor/trainer (T) he was pretty cool. The kids were more afraid of him to do anything bad than respecting him and listening, which I guess is what the boss wasn't really to fond off. Which is understandable, but what I soon found out is that these kids work fast. I mean it's constant kicking screaming, he did this, she did that. Wait what? What was your name again? No give me shit just b/c I'm new and you think you can get away with it. I mean really, I'm not that dumb.
The evening goes by with limitless testing of my limits, boring walking around. Oh yeah because we're not allowed to play with them. I mean the one thing I was looking forward to was at least being able to play games and stuff with them. If I have to sit and listen to them whine about this and that and give me attitude I at least want to get out and do something active. I tried playing with them a little bit, but they didn't seem too open with me, at least not yet.
I can understand all the bull shit legal crap with child care services and counselors touching kids or harming kids and potentially hurting them, but this is almost ridiculous. No wonder the kids hate it there, we're just like their parents. Not wanting to play with them, just watch their every move to make sure they're not doing anything wrong. No wonder the counselors seem so angry too, they're bored. I mean I was bored and irritated with just standing around, being a disciplinary rather than a friend.
I kind of felt the counselors were getting annoyed with me. I'm sure it's annoying in general to train somebody. T left early, yes left me alone with the freaking kids for like half an hour. That's a really long time in child care. But they always seemed to group together and talk with one another isolating me. I definitely felt like the new kid. Everybody's trying to feel me out; kids, counselors, the only person who seems to have absolute faith in me, OR just doesn;t care at this moment how I do, is the boss lady. I felt kind of bad for the other counselors that had to pick up the slack because I was falling behind, like having to come get some of my kids because I didn't send them up to go home. Or having to 'round-up' my unruly kids while my back is turned. They're a bunch of 6-7 year olds so I guess this is the age to test authority limits and how to 'manipulate' their way around things....a lot of testing really. They should take my GR for me since they like to test so much.
AND to top it all off next week is spring break. That means all day for a whole freaking week. I guess it'll be good for the cash flow, but I just been doing this one day! Actually it starts friday. So I'll have 4 days under my belt before the full force of it all. I'm not sure if I'll be ready for this shit. All day kids...at least while they're at school they can get most of their energy out...I would imagine; so when they come to us they're at like 40-50% instead of a full 100%. This just might be a tasting of hell to come. Boss lady assures me that if I can get through the first week that I'll be fine. I hope she's right and she's not just saying that because she's desperate for work from anybody.
Well tomorrow is another day and I guess we'll see how it goes. I really hope this job can help as far as resume status and future possible jobs in the direction I want to go in. Really, my theory is talking to children one-on-one when something's wrong, but how do you do that when there's 29 (literally that many) other kids you have to look after at the same time. No wonder our education system is askew...there's simply not enough attention or time put forth for these kids, nor patience. Perhaps when I get the hang of things I can make a difference and make some changes in that area. One could only hope. "...be the change" right? Oh Gandhi if you were here with me right now, that would really help me out...
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