Salt Mines...

Day 3: Yesterday (the third day at the new job) I was dreading going there, hating every minute that ticked away closer to absolute hell. I remember thinking This has got to be how inmates on death row feel when they have an execution date set for them to count down to. When it came time to actually head off, every inch as I got closer to that prison of hell, I started tearing up more and more...I DID NOT WANT TO GO!
I got there a few minutes early, and sat in the car. I organized my stuff into my little camelpak to prepare me for the elements of Child Care Servicing. As I did I noticed one of the other counselors, S, park across from me. I looked up and smiled at her, but of course she pretended not to see me. Which I suppose I deserve, because I will admittedly say that I've done that to people as well. I shrugged it off and went on about my business. I gathered my things and as I walked towards the doors I told myself Chin up. You're trying your best, give it a chance. I'm sure everyone felt this way. Put your big-girl-pants on and do what you have to do. And I did. I walked in that door with a smile. The other counselors were seated around a table chit chatting. I walked by and said 'hello' and, though I actually didn't expect them to out-right ignore my 'niceness' they did. Not a one said hello. Not even a glance in my direction. A quick tear came to my eyes. I sniffed it up, thought to my self: Well fuck that, never mind then. I sat at a table and read my GRE book trying to study. They continued to chit chat, mostly complaining about the kids. The leader of the group, M, was ranting on in her New York tough-kid accent about the 'little angels with horns" She started throwing around the F-bomb and then all of a sudden turned to me and was like "oo I'm sorry for the language but sometimes these kids just tick me off and I wanna kick 'em in the head!" She continued about childhood beatings as discipline and the kids these days are little brats and blah blah. I told her I totally agree. We exchanged a story or two on particular kids. They didn't seem too impressed or into the stories I had to share, so I backed off again with my confidence depleted after a short stint of Oh My gosh they're talking to me! Like a nerd in school would feel after one of the cool kids muttered a "Hey kid will you pick that up for me?" to them in the hallway at school. So I went back to studying. They left and I waited around for my bus-driver (D). D came in, a nice older black dude, and we chit chatted about his work in correctional facilities and he shared a few horror stories he had about this and about that. He made me feel a bit better before the rest of the day dragged on.
We picked up the kids and brought them back. Another counselor MA, the newest after me, was with me. She explained to me in better detail what we did and was so much nicer to me. Then the unexpected happened, M - the leader - helped me organize my group get them lined up and helped me take them out to the playground. She intervened with disciplinary actions and got them under control. Which I had no problem with since she has a booming, naturally loud (new york remember) presence tat the kids automatically respond to. As we headed, out I thanked her and a "no problem" returned. We were outside, and then the continuance of 'niceness' poured out like a freakin waterfall. "Heyr, I can help ya will the attendance sheet." "Aw that would be awesome thank you. I got some of them but I'm not sure about the rest." She went through the list, muttering to herself checking off those who were present and trying to remember who was back inside doing their homework.
Once again I was in her mercy with a 'thank you'. I had a reassurance and a mind-check with my discipline. No more nice guy, you gotta be stern with these kids. Show them who's boss and that you mean business. Hold your ground. I was keeping kids in check handing out timeouts left and right, being stern. And they actually responded to me. They were a lot better. I think M being around also helped the situation.
Then the news came to me from a small child. "Ms. O-! Ms. O-! Ms. IK told me to tell you that T won't be here. He broke his back." And she runs off. Wait WHAT?! I turned to the other counselor J, who had just recently started talking to me along with the Alpha Dog, and say "did you hear anything about T?" "No what happened?" "So-and-so just said that T broke his back..." Ms. M came out and we got the story from her sarcastic yankee twang, "So T was standing up on the back of the bus against the emergency exit, when the bus hit a pot-hole. You know those things don't have no shocks, they're like from 198fo'. So he goes falling backwards hittin his back and out the back of the bus. The ambulance had to come. Kids were cryin'. He's a mess. They took him to the hospital to get checked out. I think he's got a huge cut on his back...i donno. They might be doin some xrays er somethin."
My first thought was Oh shit! I hope he's alright. My second thought Oh shit I'm all alone with all these freakin kids for a whole freakin day!?! M must have seen the shock on my face and perked up saying "well we could take some of your kids so you only have 20, which will put you in ratio." "OK, that would be great." She lined them up and asked them who wanted to go with her. I was actually a little heartbroken that so many of them jumped to the possibility of leaving my group. But we got it figured out and they took 13 of my kids from my previous 33.
We went on with the daily schedule with snack time and then back on the playground for the rest of the day pretty much. The counselors continued to help me out with the attendance and the disciplining minor chit chat and what not. Which was refreshing and a nice change of pace than from the day before. MA, talked to me a bit about the ins and outs of the "moods" the other counselors had. "I felt for you yesterday and wanted to talk to you. Because when I first started NO ONE talked to me not even IK. T was a bit difficult to get along with with his temperament, but once we got passed a few things it was fine." "Yeah! No one spoke a single word to me yesterday. Not even T which was the big reason I was having such a horrible day." "Well some things you should watch out for from most of them except J, is that they are 2-faced. Now, I'm not here to make friends, and you're young so I don't want to see you get caught up in all that crap, because you seem nice. But just watch yourself." I thanked her immensely for her advice and all her help. It's good to know someone's on your side. I thought Yeah I can see it. It's like a freakin clique here. 
Which I noticed the whole Y has become that way. I mean I have probably been going there longer than anybody ANYBODY that works there. I remember when it was this small little building just starting out before all their added complexes and what not. I used to know everyone and they all knew me. I suppose that now that an Olympian, whose coach/dad still trains here, made it big brought tons of publicity to the Y. Everyone there seems so cliquey. It reminds me of a huge law or business firm with their gym in their skyscraper building and everyone trying to "get-in" the next-best inner circle with their power 'suits', their must-make handball games, fake "good game" hand shakes. I guess it's because it's the work crowd coming in and I'm used to the laid back retired crowd.
Well anyway, I'm about to head off again to work. I feel more confident today, but at the same time I'm still slightly timid in my feelings because I just have a feeling it could all change in an instant to the obis of hell. I'll try to make it work. But the good news is, is that not all days are hell, it actually can be somewhat pleasant to work there, and I have at least  one person in the same corner as me...